When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

In the course of one crazy night, a down on his luck valet parking attendant loses a gangster’s car and his heart to a dangerous blonde with a death wish.

Haru, an orphaned American who washes ashore in Japan and is mistaken for the great White Ninja of legend. Raised among the finest Ninjas, Haru grows strong and big – very big. With the grace of all Three Stooges rolled into one body, Haru is an embarrassment to his clan. But when a beautiful blonde pleads for his help, Haru is given one dangerous, disastrously funny chance to prove himself.